I'm Over It
by SomewhereOnlyWeKnow070897
Summary: Nowhere to Run in Eli's Point Of View


**One Shot to get over writer's block...I can't believe Clare might sleep with Jake or even consider sleeping with him (I hope their parents walk in and stop it all)... I definitely didn't like the ending to Nowhere to Run...Clare has changed too much...She is so mean now and someone needs to put her in her place because she's losing everyone that cares about her over one guy...here you go...this might be a two shot if you guys want it to be...**

**Eli's Point Of View-**

"Alli kissed me," Jake's deep voice rang through the house. Although everyone's eyes where on Alli, her eye's could only focus on her worn out tennis shoes as she leaned against the wall, awkwardly playing with her fingers. Jake had walked into the room Clare was in about five minutes ago and despite how secluded the cabin was from the city, our ears weren't secluded from their conversation. Their voices were loud and clear and even though Alli wasn't my favorite person in the world at the moment, my heart ached for her. I remember how I felt when I realized I had ruined everything in my life with my own actions and it didn't help that people always managed to point it out.

"Really?" Clare asked doubtfully.

"Yeah," Jake whispered, his voice taking on a sweet tint,"and kissing her back was the stupidest thing I've ever done." Jake finished, the sweetness in his voice was taken over by regret. There was a long silence and all that was heard was the tangle of breaths around me and the occasional howl of a wolf. I heard a choked sob ring through the room, I immediately looked towards Alli but she was still looking down, avoiding eye contact and her thin arms wrapped around her body for support.

"Maybe we should go outside," I offer, my gentlemen side taking over. I didn't want Alli to have to go through all the pain I went through. I barely managed to survive it and it still haunts me and I don't want any girl, even the girl who hurt the love of my life, to go through it too.

"Please, this is pure gold," Bianca laughed, unaware of how much pain Alli was probably going through. With that said, I sank back down in the wooden chair I was previously sitting in and tried to ignore Alli's cries for help. I knew well enough that everyone was too stubborn to leave. They needed to know the gossip.

"That should do it," Jake says, probably talking about her hand since he walked in with a first aid kit. I didn't understand why he didn't let Katie, a girl with more experience in this area, help Clare with her wounded hand but then again, if she let me come anywhere near her, I would want to make sure she was safe too.

"Thanks," Clare responded coldly and I was immediately reminded of how stubborn she was with me when we were dating. I remember one time when we were walking through the park, she got mad at me because I let go of her hand to tie my shoe laces. She started yelling all types of nonsense, telling me that it was wrong to choose my shoe laces over her hand. It started raining and I ran to the shelter of Morty but she refused to get in. She stayed out there for ten minutes, until her body was entirely soaked. Apparently all she wanted was for me to apologize. She wasn't one to back down and that's what I loved about her. Even if she had proof that Jake didn't want to kiss Alli, it would be a long time before she forgave him. Jake's sigh echoed in the house and filled it with impatience.

"Look I tried...I tried getting over you all summer. I couldn't and when I found your headband I," Jake hesitated, unsure of how to put his thoughts into words, "I thought that something really bad happened and I regretted every minute that I didn't spend with you-"

"Stop," Clare interrupted.

"I thought about kissing Eli," she blurted out and before I could comprehend how I could feel about this she added another part to her sentence,"to get back at you."

Anger. That's all I could feel. It coursed through my body and overwhelmed my vision with red. I clenched my fist trying to control my thoughts. It wasn't until this moment that I really considered killing someone. Clare to be exact. I wanted to strangle her alive and if she wasn't a girl, I would've. I was honestly questioning bow many years I would be in prison if I just decked her in the mouth. How could she be so inconsiderate? She was dating Jake, knowing it could potentially ruin her mother's love life; she was hurting Alli, her best friend for years, and she was about to lead me on with her supposedly "sweet" lips. She knew very well that I still loved her with every fiber of my being and kissing me would lead me to believe that she still loved me. I would've gone through the same pain that I went through when she first dumped me after I found out that the kiss was just to get her revenge on Jake. This girl wasn't the girl I fell in love with before. The girl I fell in love with wouldn't throw away all her morals for one guy, especially when she knew it was going to hurt the people she loved.

"Eli, man, are you okay?" Drew's voice whispered. He sounded far away but when I opened my eyes, he was standing right next to me. Katie was standing behind him, fearfully holding his arm. She looked so scared and I hated what I had done. I breathed in deeply and unclenched my fingers, I wasn't going to let the crazy take my body over again, I had to learn how to surmount the pain sooner or later. I nodded unable to find my voice for a minute. Katie let go of Drew for a second and tentatively walked towards me, placing her hand on my arm. I almost flinched away, afraid that human contact would send me over the cliff but knowing that that wouldn't help my case, I melted into her touch.

"She wasn't worth your time," Katie tried to sooth.

"I'm fine," I whispered and smiled at how true my words were. I finally realized that Clare wasn't worth my pain. She doesn't love me, she doesn't love anyone but herself. Her heart disintegrated a long time ago. Her fierce Christian spirit turned into a dissolute one. I couldn't bring her back from the hole she dug herself in and I wasn't going to try,"thank you."

"There's something in the woods," Marisol cried in fear, running away from the window she was looking out of.

"Can someone please sedate her?" Drew asked, annoyance ringing in his words.

"Everyone's in here, that means no one's in the woods," I say, trying to comfort her to the best of my abilities. However, she was still shaking and occasionally twitching.

"Either she's tripping out or she just saw something really freaky," Bianca said, staring at Marisol's hyperventilation body.

"Tripping out...on what?" Drew asked.

"Weed," Bianca murmured. No wonder she was so scared, weed can make you really paranoid. Drew looked around the room in disgust, his eyes landing on his girlfriend Katie.

"You too," Drew asked, tilting his head to the side in disbelief.

"Secondhand," Katie replied, holding her hands up in defense. Drew rolled his eyes and looked towards me. Unintentionally, we both walked to the window. When I looked out, I saw nothing but trees, darkness and the reflection of the living room in the window. Suddenly, a body emerged from the trees. The last things I saw before I backed away from the window was its gloved hand pick up the chainsaw that was thrown across the floor near the shed.

"Oh my god," Drew and I yelled in unison. The girls immediately flinched at the volume of our voices. My body began to shake and I immediately regretted not bringing my pills with me.

"Lock the door!" I yelled, trying to get control over my body so I can properly assist the girls that cowered in fear but the truth is, I was scared too.

"You guys are kidding right," Bianca looked at us incredulously but after she saw our shaking bodies, she ran to the door and locked it without hesitation.

"Jake!" Marisol yelled but Jake didn't respond. If my body didn't feel so weak I would've dragged him out the room by the ear.

"Jake there's someone at the door man," Drew said.

"So unlock it," Jake said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No!" Everyone yelled in unison.

"It's the killer," Marisol's voice shook in fear.

"You guys are ridiculous," Jake says, walking to the doors without the slightest hesitation.

"Are we? Look what we found," Katie whispered, walking towards Jake and dropping what I thought was rings into his hands.

"Your story's real."

"Pratt, that's the name of the previous owner," Jake mumbled and despite his fearless facade, I could hear how scared he really was. Suddenly, there was a hard knocking at the door.

"Oh my god, he's outside. He wants to kill us or kidnap a virgin. Clare, Katie, sacrifice yourselves," Bianca said, trying to make a joke to lighten up the mood but no one laughed. I immediately looked towards Clare, I had completely forgotten about her. She looked petrified and was crying slightly but she wasn't looking to see if I or Alli was okay. Instead she was looking at Jake.

"Everyone stay calm," Jake yelled, his voice quavering.

"Calm, then why do you need an ax man?" Drew yelled. Jake ignored his question, tightened his grip on the ax and unlocked the door. The wind blew it open and on the other side was not one but two dark silhouettes.

"AHHH!" Everyone screamed at the top of their lungs, practically shattering my ear drums. The silhouettes walked closer and there faces were illuminated by the light. At this moment, I was closed to grabbing Jake's ax and killing myself so I won't have to be this scared.

"Dad," Jake choked out. Everyone else calmed down but I was still shaking. I kept on repeating to myself that everyone was fine but I just couldn't return to my regular strength. Do you know how it feels to feel like your slipping and you have nothing to grip on?

"Someone been using my chainsaw?" a well groomed man that smelled like pine needle's asked, walking into the cabin some more.

"That would be Katie. That girl is dangerous," Bianca spat. I looked towards Katie who was still curled up in Drew's arms.

"Clare, thank goodness your here," Helen said running towards Clare and wrapping her in her arms. She's okay, that's all that mattered. I know I should be mad at her, but there was time for that later. Right now I'm just glad everyone's okay.

"What are you guys doing here?" Jake asked.

"Well we called to check on Clare but she wasn't answering so we got worried-"

"We couldn't enjoy our honeymoon so we came home and Clare wasn't there-"

"Alli's mom left a voice mail about her being at our country place so we rushed up here. Turns out you guys are having a little party huh?" the man who I suppose was Jake's Dad finished.

"Sorry."

"It's okay, we're just glad your safe," Hellen whispered in her sweet yet raspy voice.

"And what's with the ax?" Jake's Dad said, looking at the weapon in Jake's hand.

"I told them the Pratt murder legend. Guess we all just got a little scared," Jake joked.

"But the rings...it's real," Marisol yelled in despair. I was glad to know that I wasn't the only one tripping out.

"I found these when we found the place alright. I buried them under the tool shed. Jealousy makes people do some pretty ugly things," Jake's dad said, looking at all of us in the eyes.

"So the murderer wasn't real, we were just scaring ourselves," Katie finally spoke up.

"The scariest things about a cabin full of teens, is the teens...who aren't leaving by the way until my shed door gets fixed so come on let's get at her," his Dad said, opening the door. I was the second to walk out and once I exited through the cabin door and looked at the beauty in front of me, I immediately clamed down. Life's to short to be mad all the time.

If Clare wanted to go back to a guy that kissed her best-friend, it's on her. I've spent all this time trying to win her back, trying to make her see that we were meant to be and I haven't even realized how much she has changed. Her views on life got switched around. I remember the look in her eyes when they danced across the words in the books. I remember the sensation of her arms around my neck when we softly caressed each other's faces with our lips. Now all I see is hunger. Her actions are faster, you would think it was the end of the world. She's on a speeding car and all I can do is follow the limit but if that's how she wishes to spend her days, so be it. I was tired of being the person she fell back on. It's time for her to hit the ground. I won't be there to help her anymore.

**The Next Morning-**

I wish I could close my eyes without being reminded of how much pain I'm in. I've been trying to ignore it but it won't go away. I've realized that Clare isn't the person that I spent so much time trying to win back. I've wasted my time fighting for something that had already been taken away. Clare did not exist anymore. She flew away with my trust.

Sleep didn't come to save me last night. I was forced to examine my life, or at least the part of it that didn't run away with my tears. Maybe I did this to her. I was the one who caused her heart to close. Or at least, I think I was but was I really? Did she even love me enough to hurt when we split? Did we really have a relationship or did we just fool ourselves into believing that someone was actually there for us?

Why was I even here? I wasn't fond of Jake and I knew that seeing Clare would only prove that I love her more than I did yesterday. Maybe I was trying to prove that I was strong enough to handle a situation with both of them but was I ready to hear that? If I wasn't here would anything change? I would still be hopelessly in love with a girl who doesn't even like my presence.

I keep on slipping back into her grip. Every time I think I'm free, she tightens her fingers around me. When I found her in the woods, I was relieved to say the least. She was okay, then I saw her hand and I started to panic. She was hurt and I couldn't stop it. Then she said she was happy I saved her and all hope was regained. I always try to rewrite our story so both of us end up happy at the end but it will never work. Maybe I just need to find a new leading lady. I have a feeling no one will fill her shoes.

I remembered everything I wanted to do to her when I thought she was using me and I mentally kicked myself. I shouldn't be thinking like that. That's how monsters think and I will not submit to my insanity. I knew I would never lay a hand on Clare but my mind shouldn't want to either. It just...hurts. I feel like my hearts on fire but it just won't incinerate. It refuses to die but what is there left to live for. I won't ever find a love that can fill my heart as much as Clare did.

"Hey, it's a long way to bike back. Do you want to ride with us?" Clare asked, before I could escape her line of vision. I see Alli walking away not too far away and I knew exactly what Clare was doing. She was trying to show Alli that she'd rather be stuck in a car with her crazy-ex-boyfriend than her. Did she even consider if I could handle that? I should've said no. I should've walked away. However, we both know that it wasn't going to happen. I was going to let her use me until she got tired just so I can be in her presence.

"Yeah, thanks," I monotonically reply before dropping my bike in the back of Jake's red truck. By the time I got into his car, they were already seating, smiling like lovesick idiots. I look at Clare curiously. How could she be this happy when her boyfriend practically sucked Alli's face off?

When I finally reached my house, I didn't hesitate to run out of his car, throwing a meaningless thanks behind my back. I grabbed my bike and ran into my house. Once I was behind the door, I sank to my knees. I didn't even notice that Cece was there the entire time.

"Baby Boy, was that...Clare?" Cece asks hesitantly.

"Yes," I simply state. We stay quiet for a while. I didn't feel like getting up and Cece wanted answers for questions that I didn't want to hear.

"Are you okay?" she asks. Was I okay? Would I be able to get over her? Can all her wrongs make me realize that she was all wrong for me? Will I ever be able to erase her from my memory?

"Yes...I'm over it," I nonchalantly say, hoping that once it came out my mouth, it would actually be true. But hope wasn't enough...is it ever?


End file.
